


Better This Way

by OceanPenguin



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Chat Noir is stupid, F/M, Hawkmoth doesn't care, Identity Reveal, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Why why why Adrien why, this...this came out of my head one day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6360577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanPenguin/pseuds/OceanPenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I told her I didn't love her. I told her I didn't want to see her. I lied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He Left Her

**Author's Note:**

> Papillon is also known as Hawkmoth.

I told her I didn't love her.

 

I told her I didn't want to see her.

 

I lied.

 

Desperate me lied. Lied with all the strength I could muster. I let my disgust bleed into my voice, my eyes sharpen with hate, my body tremble with anger. I tensed my muscles and let go.

 

My voice sounded sharp and discordant. Jagged shards of raw emotion flew at her. My words formed into bullets, driving deep into the armor I knew she had around her. I saw her eyes tremble, a glistening tear slowly pooling in her eyes. Suddenly, as it slipped down the slope of her face, her tears came faster and faster until a rainstorm pounded the ground with hail.

 

I hated myself for doing this to her.

 

I had no choice.

 

"I never did like you, Marinette," I told her, voice chillingly cold. I shifted my stance, crossing my arms across my chest. "Those midnight meetings we had? Those moments we shared?" I mocked her. "They were nothing. They always will be nothing. Nothing for me, nothing at all."

 

I felt myself die a little inside at my words. Marinette wouldn't believe me, would she? She knew me better than that. Then, I felt a chill run through me. No, she didn't know better because she never did know the true me.

 

She knew me as Chat Noir, the flirtatious superhero who saved Paris with Ladybug. She probably thought I was rakish and dashing, as the newspapers reported me as. She knew I had a crush on Ladybug. All facts the newspapers reported.

 

Her voice trembled. "No. You said you loved me. You said you'd stay. What happened to you? Where is the cat I once knew?" Her eyes pleaded with me, the tear stains on her cheeks reflecting the dim lamplight in the street. Her hands clutched at her chest as if she was attempting to hold her heart together.

 

By the look on her face, I knew I had her at breaking point. A little more and she would fall into the snares of my lies.

 

"Gone," I replied, smirking. "Gone, and never to be seen again." If I lied, she would be safe. If she were safe, Hawkmoth couldn't harm her. She would be away from me, but she would be protected. I would give my life to see her out of danger.

 

I turned my back on her, as hard as it was. "You were just another notch on my post," I lied. "Just another girl I whose heart I could break."

 

"Was I just a game to you?" Her anger vibrated through the air. "Just another person to conquer? You really are more cruel than I thought."

 

Good. She was getting angry, shielding herself from the hurt. She would be safe.

 

"Get out," She pointed her finger towards the Parisian skyline. Her arm was a black shadow against the bright stars. "Out of my bedroom, out of my life. Get out, and don't you dare come back!" Her blue eyes were furious. Her inky black hair snapped on the ends, static frizzling through the air.

 

I could see the hurt she was hiding, and my hand twitched involuntarily to brush her hair back, to stroke her cheek, anything to comfort her.

 

She stepped towards me, hand raised when she saw my fingers twitch. "Don't you dare," she whispered. "Don't you dare!"

 

I needed no further invitation. I slipped out of the window, summoning my baton to propel me far, far away.

 

Away from my love Marinette.

 

Away from my Ladybug.


	2. Ignorance is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignorance was bliss, wasn't it?  
> No, it wasn't. It wasn't when you decided to fall for a certain kitty. It wasn't when a black cat fell for you when he was supposed to be pining for Ladybug. It wasn't when you were left heartbroken at the same cat's hands without a reason.

Marinette turned away from the window, refusing to watch Chat Noir leave. She swiped at her eyes with a tissue, eyeliner leaving thin black trails on the paper, continually repeating the same motion in an attempt to block out the feelings in her heart.

 

She hated him. How dare he lure her in with his sweet words and silly puns, always there with his hugs, his dorky personality. How dare he leave her alone by herself, leave her without a reason. How dare he leave without a backwards glance.

 

She didn't realize how wet her tissue was until Tikki appeared beside her, holding a new tissue. Marinette looked down at her hand to the black tissue crumpled in her fist, completely soaked through with tears.

 

"Thanks, Tikki," she said, offering her kwami a teary smile.

 

Did she really mean that little to him? She knew Chat liked Ladybug, so when the black chaton started showing up at her window at night, she was confused. Did he know that she was Ladybug? Heck, didn't he like-no, _love-_ her alter ego? He was flirting with Ladybug _all the time._

 

She remembered when she first saw Chat standing on her balcony half a year ago. In the two years she'd been Ladybug, she'd never seen Chat on her balcony before.

 

He staring into the night sky as if the glittering stars would give him all the answers in the world. It was a position she'd never seen him in before, something she'd never thought she'd ever see-melancholic. He was usually so happy, so flirty around her. _No, around Ladybug,_ she corrected herself. _Chat Noir's only met Marinette to deal with the Evillustrator._

 

The first thing she asked him was: "Aren't you supposed to be home?" because it wasn't his turn to patrol, it was hers. That was the schedule they'd agreed on, patrol every other day. And when she remembered that she wasn't supposed to know about Chat's schedule it was already too late.

 

At her question, he had whirled around in a blur of motion, leather tail and all. He crouched into a defensive position, legs bent, arms in front, fingers twitching to lay into his prey. His green eyes shot straight into Marinette's heart.

 

He looked horrible. His eyes were oddly shiny in the light until Marinette realized that he was barely holding back tears. His ears drooped, and his tail sagged on the ground. His air was messy, and his baton was affixed half-heartedly to the back of his suit.

 

When he saw it was her, he relaxed. His eyes softened, and the tension left his body. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to be here so long." He gestured helplessly at the stars. "It's just that-things didn't go so well recently and the stars just mesmerized me." He extended his baton and ran a hand through his hair. "I better go."

 

Chat looked so dejected Marinette almost regretted interrupting him. "No, no, it's fine, you can stay," she said hesitatingly. Now to act as a civilian. "I was just worried there was an akuma attack, that's all."

 

"No," he replied. "The city's safe for now."

 

"That's good to hear." They stood in relative silence for a few moments, the crickets chirping softly. The tension between them was thick enough a knife could slice through it.

 

"I can relate, you know," Marinette offered up after a while. She wanted to break the silence, but she didn't expect to say that.

 

"Relate to what?" Chat turned to look at her.

 

"To not having things go well recently." Chat had recently confessed to her about his feelings during patrol today. She knew he was going to tell her by the way his breath stuttered before he spoke, and she could only wait in silence for the delivered sentence.

 

 _I like you,_ he had said to her. And when he lifted his eyes to hers to find only horror, he had realized what she already knew.

 

 _I'm sorry,_ she had told him. _I-there's someone else._ Chat had only nodded before retreating, bounding off into the distance to lick his wounds.  

 

She never thought she'd find him here.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Guilt bubbled up in her chest. _So you first break his heart as Ladybug, and now you want to comfort him as Marinette? Haven't you hurt him enough already? Chat will never forgive you once he finds out._

 

She brushed those feelings aside. Chat was sad, and he didn't know that she was Ladybug. She could offer comfort-after all, she was the cause of his pain.

 

Chat sighed. "I don't want to burden you, and it's getting late. Thanks for the offer to stay, but I really shouldn't. Good night, and good luck with your problems." He had leapt away afterwards.

 

There was an akuma attack the very next day. They worked out of sync, Chat barely looking at her and Marinette feeling guilty about causing his pain. He looked he was forcing himself to be there. When Marinette's Miraculous Cure had done its job, Chat scampered off without offering the usual fist pump at the end of each fight.

 

Chat didn't show up to meet her during her patrols as he was wont to for the next month. She'd hurt him more than she thought, Marinette realized a week in. It was no wonder he was avoiding her. What better way was there to move on than to avoid the hurt as much as possible?

 

She sighed. She knew it would come to this, Chat liking her and her not reciprocating his feelings. If it wasn't for Adrien, then she might have looked at Chat differently, but with Adrien in the picture the only love she felt for Chat was of the brotherly kind.

 

When she was Ladybug, she brushed off Chat's attempts at flirting, hoping that he would take the hint and fall in love with someone else. Instead, he took her disinterest as a challenge, pushing for a closer relationship. Marinette didn't want that. She couldn't jeopardize the partnership with romantic feelings, reciprocated or not. One day, someone was going to get hurt, and the other would be wounded all the more because of regrets that had everything to do with each other.

 

It was better this way, better off without the knowledge of each other's civilian life. Ignorance was bliss, wasn't it? Wasn't it?

 

No, it wasn't. It wasn't when you decided to fall for a certain kitty. It wasn't when a black cat fell for you when he was supposed to be pining for Ladybug. It wasn't when you were left heartbroken at the same cat's hands without a reason.

 

She remembered his harsh voice, his glaring green eyes with the green sclera. She remembered what he told her, that he didn't love her anymore. Him saying that he didn't want to see her. Chat informing her of the termination of his feelings.

 

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Chat wasn't supposed to fall for Ladybug, he wasn't supposed to come to her for comfort, he wasn't supposed to _keep coming_ for weeks upon weeks. He wasn't supposed to make her fall for him.

 

Marinette rushed out onto her balcony, reveling in the crisp, clean air, trying to escape the crushing pain in her chest.  

 

 _Stop,_ she commanded herself. _No use getting more emotional than you already are._

 

It was no use. She could feel the pressure building up behind her eyes, the heat inside her eyelids. As much as she told herself to stop, she couldn't. The watery fluid built up in her eyes, threatening to spill over, threatening to break the wall she had built around herself.

 

She sank onto her knees, sobs wracking her body as she relived the memories she had built with Chat Noir as Marinette. Gasps flew out of her mouth, and she knelt her forehead to the ground in an effort to calm herself down.

 

Just as her tears slowed, something occurred to her. Somewhere along the way as Ladybug, she'd convinced herself that she was unbreakable. Unbeatable. She was wrong. It wasn't brute force that had gotten the best of her, it was caring and love, the soft, compassionate side she never tried to hide.

 

Marinette burst into a fresh round of tears, Tikki looking on.

 

"Oh, Marinette," she whispered. "You aren't the first one to fall in love with your partner. It'll be better, you'll see."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing to say to Chat. Really. And Marinette, you're on my black list too. Thoughts, anyone?
> 
> On a happier note, I have FINALLY finished watching the Miraculous Ladybug television series. Sigh.


	3. To Keep Her Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Chat Noir pulls an Edward Cullen.

I leaped out of the window gracefully, my landing barely stirring the dust. Ignoring the pain that had started to bloom in my chest, I latched my hand onto the roof, swinging my body onto the ceiling tiles. I alternately crawled and leapt across the buildings to the Eiffel Tower to grieve, keeping an eye on Marinette's window all the while.

 

I couldn't leave her, even if she banished me. My heart belonged to her. She didn't know it well enough.

 

I can still see those tears, the eyes rimmed red. The deep pools of blue I had lost myself to leaking with tears, the heart she gave me breaking. I heard it crack. I would have given anything for her heart to stay whole, but it was better this way.

 

Better that she hate me than to be in danger. Better that I break myself to keep her safe.

 

I couldn't involve her in my life anymore than she already was. I knew she was Ladybug. I knew she was my partner who risked her life to cleanse Paris' citizens of Hawkmoth's deadly akumas. I knew she didn't know I, Chat Noir, was Ladybug.

 

Hawkmoth knew it, too.

 

He'd sent me a message a few days ago during an akuma attack. Lila had been possessed yet again-her jealousy of Ladybug had reached skyrocketing levels-and Volpina had cornered me during the fight.

 

With a purple butterfly outline over her face, she whispered, "Ladybug doesn't know your civilian identity, does she? But you know hers."

 

I stared at her in shock and horror. How did Hawkmoth keep such close tabs on me? "You're lying," I snarled in response. I extended my baton and pointed it at her. "You better get ready, 'cause this cat loves a cat fight!" I charged.

 

Volpina jumped onto my baton, running towards me. The butterfly outline still surrounded her face. She put her lips next to my ear, gripping my shoulders with her claws. "You know you're more easily influenced by my power."

 

I shivered. She was right. After being touched by Chronogirl and taking a hit from Heartbreaker, not to mention being controlled by the Puppeteer, I was more drawn to the whispers of Hawkmoth's power-the dark akumas and their victims held more allure for me these days.

 

"What do you want from me?" I demanded, shaking the baton in an effort to create the illusion that we were fighting. I needed to know more about Hawkmoth's plans.

 

Volpina winked, and the purple butterfly mask disappeared from her face. Her face immediately set back into a snarl, a growl escaping her throat. She swiped once, twice, and pulled out her flute to attack.

 

As Volpina's jealousy grew, her powers did as well. Her illusions were now able to land a few hits before disappearing, but still disappeared if something went through them. As Volpina played a hauntingly familiar tune, multiple illusions of Volpina landed behind her.

 

 _No!_ I thought desperately. _I needed to know Hawkmoth's plans!_

 

As I destroyed the crowd of Volpinas, Hawkmoth's words ran through my head.

 

_Ladybug doesn't know your civilian identity, does she? But you know hers._

 

_Y_ _ou know you're more easily influenced by my power._

 

What did he mean? I knew that I could be possessed by an akuma, but my Miraculous made it difficult to control me; however, it wasn't impossible. If Hawkmoth tried hard enough, he could have me hand over my Miraculous without a second thought if I were possessed by one of his akumas.

 

But what did he mean by my knowledge of Ladybug's civilian identity? Again, unless I was possessed by an akuma, he'd have no knowledge of who Ladybug was. As far as I knew, Hawkmoth could only see what his akuma was doing, and since the akumas were cleansed before Ladybug and I de-transformed, Hawkmoth would have no inkling of our civilian identities.

 

But I did. Suddenly, it clicked.

 

If Hawkmoth could control me more easily once I was akumatized and direct me to attack Ladybug, _I could attack Ladybug's civilian identity to catch Ladybug off guard._ It would then be easy for me to take her Miraculous and give it as well as my Miraculous to Hawkmoth.

 

_What a simple plan. It all hinged on me being akumatized._

 

I had tripped over my feet at the revelation, sprawling right into Volpina's lap. Quickly, before she could kiss me (it'd been her goal every time she was akumatized) I ripped the charm from her neck and tossed it to Ladybug. An akuma cleansing and a "Miraculous Ladybug!" later, I was free to go.

 

I had sprinted all the way home, thinking all the while. I knew that I needed to keep Ladybug and Marinette safe. I knew that Hawkmoth needed to akumatize me. _What could I do to keep Marinette out of danger?_

 

I could stay away from Marinette as Chat Noir. Without any knowledge of her actions, it would be useless for Hawkmoth to control me. Her Miraculous would stay safe, and Marinette would be able to fight crime as Ladybug.

 

My mind was made up. I had chuckled darkly, swinging through the window into my room. I knew that Ladybug was the important one, after all. She was the only one who could purify the akumas. I was the distraction, the one who made the job a little easier to do. But with my powers of bad luck, she was forced to save me almost as many times as she defeated the akumas.

 

I hadn't gone to meet Marinette that night, preferring to stay home in order to solidify my resolve.

 

Plagg had picked up on my thoughts, looking at me with sad eyes. _You're not the only one with this conundrum. Plenty of other Ladybugs and Chat Noirs have suffered through the years._

 

Did they turn out alright? I had asked him eagerly.

 

Plagg had shaken his head stubbornly. _It's not my place to tell you. But if you're so bent on breaking ties with her, a clean break is best._

 

_A clean break is best._

 

His phrase echoed through my mind. Plagg was right. Like broken bones, broken hearts healed the quickest with a clean break. No jagged shards to clean out, no cuts and scrapes to fill in. Just a single straight fracture to sew back together.

 

I had decided to visit Marinette tonight, before things could progress any further. I knew I loved her, and I could only hope that she did not love me yet. Better for her to think that I was toying with her than for her to know I loved her, because a true broken heart never heals fully.

 

I want her to be safe. I want her to be Ladybug without any hindrances. I want her to live a life without Chat Noir. She would be better off without me.

 

I try to convince myself in vain. She would be better tomorrow, wouldn't she? She'd be her lively self and I would stay away from her.

 

The iron on the Eiffel Tower feels cold beneath my fingertips, the leather of my suit protecting me from scraping my skin raw. A cold wind blows through me, and I curl up on the bars, trying to conserve the warmth I stole from the corners of Marinette's room. I didn't want to go home. Not yet.

 

I stole a glance at her room. I could see her silhouette through the window, a black shadow frozen in the windowpane. Her light was still on, and the circle of yellow light shined like a beacon from a lighthouse, showing me the way home.

 

Except it wasn't my home anymore. I knew my heart was breaking. Would it be so selfish to keep it together for a few minutes? No, it wasn't.

 

I shifted. The cold had seeped into my bones, and I wanted to move before it could snake its way into my heart. A crackling caught my attention. Suddenly, I realized that I was curled up in a nest of snow. Snowflakes floated through the air, landing on my mask and arms. The frost curled around me, calling me to sleep. Sleep would make everything better, wouldn't it?

 

A beep from my ring caught my attention. Plagg! Although I was suffering, Plagg shouldn't have to stay trapped in the ring for hours upon end. I forced my arm up, but it refused to budge. With a jolt, I realized that the tears dripping down my mask had dropped onto the iron, freezing my arm onto the metal in the winter storm.

 

I had to leave. I jerked my arm up and off the ground, the splintering the ice with a cracking sound. The sky rumbled, and lightning flashed through the air.

 

"Just my luck," I muttered. I better leave before I got trapped in the storm.

 

With one last glance and an "I love you," I left.

 

I didn't see the figure in black and red follow me home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone here want to slap Chat Noir now?  
> I do. Heck, his reasoning makes a little bit of sense, but really, Ladybug is more than capable of protecting herself. Accidents happen. *cough*Edward Cullen and Chat Noir*cough*


	4. Going...going...gone

Marinette tapped on the glass, listening carefully to any reaction downstairs. It was already midnight, and although her parents slept early to open to bakery, her mom was known for midnight walks. It wouldn't be the first time her mother decided to check up on her in the middle of the night. When Marinette heard no movement downstairs, she hopped up and out of her room.

 

She wanted to get some fresh air. After crying her heart out over Chat Noir, the room seemed stuffy in comparison. Sitting in the same spot on her bed weeping over a cat who had played with her feelings with no more care than with a ball of twine had left her feeling drained of emotion.

 

Marinette had felt like an empty shell in that moment-existing, not truly living. Her body functioned as it had in the past, air flowing in and out of her lungs, eyes taking in her visual surroundings. Her covers felt warm and comforting under her skin, but the dried tears on her cheeks tugged and pulled at her consciousness.

 

Slowly, a corner of her brain was freed from the self-induced stupor. Her thoughts went immediately to Cha-she immediately clamped down on the thought at the swell of pain in her chest. His name brought agony to her heart.

 

No matter how hard Marinette tried to stop thinking about the hurtful bastard, the image of him ending their relationship flashed in her head, the sentences replaying continuously like a broken record.

 

"I never did like you, Marinette," he told her, voice chillingly cold. He shifted his stance, crossing his arms across his chest.  
Repeat. Again. And yet again. Marinette hit the bed in frustration, biting down on her lip to keep the keening wail inside. Why wasn't it going away? Wasn't she already in enough pain?

 

She curled up into a ball, instinctively tucking her head in to protect herself against the imagined danger. She squeezed her eyes shut, white stars tainting her vision in an effort to block out his face. The same contortions of his lips, the rhythm of his words, the twitch of his eyes, she had them all memorized from the countless hours she spent talking to him on her balcony.

 

And then-Marinette gasped, her eyes shooting open at her epiphany. After he had informed her that she wasn't loved anymore, there was a flicker of something in his eyes. What was it? Even if it turned out to be disgust, she wanted to know why he had left her.

 

Marinette concentrated, summoning the memory again. She focused on recreating each and every agonizing detail, reincarnating the scene that had left her incapacitated on her bed for hours on end. As she replayed the scene over and over again, she scrutinized his face.

 

There. She caught it. A small flicker of regret flashed in his eyes when he informed her that he didn't love her anymore, and another flicker of sadness appeared just before he tossed away her feelings, a forehead wrinkle preceding each one.

 

Marinette clutched onto those moments. What did they mean? She only saw his forehead wrinkle when he was struggling with decisions, unsure of what to do. He didn't sound like he was confused when leaving me. He sounded harsh and frozen, calm and arrogant.

 

He knew he was going to leave me. But why?

 

Chat had been acting odd lately. Ever since he showed up on her balcony, he'd stopped joining her for midnight patrols. At first, she thought that he was hurt and let him be. During akuma attacks, she kept her distance and kept communication to a minimum. After all, she knew how rejection felt.

 

Marinette had recently confessed to Adrien, but was rebuffed much like how she, as Ladybug, turned down Chat Noir.

 

She only had to look in his face to see the sadness and regret reflected inside.

 

"Maybe if there wasn't someone else," he had told her. "Mari, you're great person and all, but you're not for me. I'm sorry."

 

She nodded, cheeks burning with humiliation. "I-I understand." She dashed away, eyes downcast and tears pouring from her eyes. She had never wished so hard for Chat's company that night.

 

Chat had eventually joined her again for midnight patrols, but it wasn't the same. There was no more flirting, no more lighthearted teasing, none of the sly kitty she had come to known. Instead, he had kept his distance. Chat was polite and considerate, forever the gentleman, but not the friend she had love. It seemed that that side of him had disappeared...

 

Until he had shown up on her balcony one night. Marinette had just de-transformed, thinking about the day's events, when a pair of twitching kitten ears caught her interest. Chat appeared and proceeded to outrageously flirt with her, much as he had done with Ladybug.

 

She had froze. Standing stock still, she had stared at Chat Noir, silently questioning herself if he really had gotten over Ladybug that easily. And when he paused after offering to show her around, she realized that she was just a distraction. He never spoke of Ladybug, stuttering before abandoning any attempt to say her name altogether. 

 

Marinette decided to take him up on his offer. After all, if he was using her, she could use him as well. She was still recovering from the sting of Adrien's rejection, and a certain black cat seemed to be the perfect answer.

 

The more time she spent with him, the more Chat seemed like himself. He cracked horrible puns, made awful jokes, and flirted constantly. Marinette relaxed in his company, enjoying it as time went on, desperate to spend time with her kitty in a platonic friendship.

 

Chat had drawn further away from Ladybug during akuma attacks. After their usual "Bien joué!", Chat always left quickly, bounding onto rooftops as he escaped. He no longer kept a comforting arm on Ladybug, preferring to keep physical touches to a minimum. Chat even renounced all romantic claims on Ladybug, saying that there was someone else-Alya's post had blown up a few months ago because of that.

 

Marinette didn't think too much of it. As Ladybug and Chat Noir grew further apart, Marinette and Chat Noir had grown closer together. By the time Chat had relinquished all romantic claims on Ladybug, Marinette and Chat had already been dating, and Marinette had thought that Chat's distance from Ladybug was out of respect for Marinette.

 

It wasn't only until last week Marinette had noticed truly odd behavior from Chat. She remembered Chat was brushing her hair back when his fingers touched her earrings. His fingers had stilled, and she heard a sharp intake of breath. The next moment, Chat was making hasty excuses as he told her he needed to leave.

 

The next day at school, Adrien kept staring at her oddly, eyes flicking to her earrings. After his rejection, Adrien had avoided her as much as possible, perhaps in an attempt to make things less awkward between them. During class, he leaned away from her as if she repulsed him multiple times, and bolted from the classroom when the bell rang. 

 

Marinette didn't have the energy in her to care. Who knew what rubbed Adrien the wrong way? Maybe his feelings of dislike for her had ran deeper than she originally thought.

 

Chat didn't come to meet her that night-Volpina had struck again, and her powers only grew. She thought that Chat was tired from the fight; she knew Tikki had been exhausted and so had she. Then, out of the blue, Chat left her tonight, a day after the battle with Volpina.

 

Was it possible that Chat had learned something from the battle with Volpina? She did see them fighting for a good five minutes while she, as Ladybug, was setting up the trap for the villain. If anything from that fight affected Chat-and there was a good chance there was, because Chat dropped a bomb a day after the battle-she wanted to know.

 

Hell, she deserved to know. She had lost a cat over a tidbit of poisonous whisperings Volpina delivered into Chat's ear as Marinette, and the cat as a close friend for over half a year now. It was time to set things right.

 

Marinette stood up, uncurling from her cramped position. She swung the window back into position, carefully checking that the hinges didn't creak. After asking Tikki if it would be alright to go for a midnight jaunt as Ladybug, Marinette climbed onto her balcony railing.

 

"Transforme-moi, Tikki!" she whispered, feeling the magic of her kwami wash over her.

 

Ladybug scanned around, searching for a certain black cat. She knew his favorite spots were the Eiffel Tower and the Champs-Elysées, so she looped her yo-yo around the nearest gargoyle's ears to pull herself towards the glittering monuments.

 

Snow had started to fall, and white flakes had begun to obscure her vision. Ladybug decided to check the Eiffel Tower first, knowing that its metal bars provided the perfect vantage point for Paris. She didn't have much time before the storm worsened.

As luck would have it, she spotted a hunched figure staring at her bedroom window. His ears twitched back and forth, the snowflakes flicking of his ears occasionally. She leaned closer, confused as to why he would stare at the person he professed to hate.

She crept towards him, straining to read his facial expression. Hiding behind a beam, Ladybug leaned in. She heard the a whispered "I love you" before the cat had the gall to leave.

She leaped after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, anyone?


	5. Confrontations

I sighed. I did not need this right now. Ladybug was following me, trying to be stealthy, but the zip of her yo-yo kept giving her away. I could hear her ever since I left the Eiffel Tower, and the sound had been grinding on my nerves. I was even more nervous for the confrontation with Ladybug.

 

I whirled around. "Hello." I kept my tone low and the word short, hoping to drive off Ladybug to keep her out of danger.

 

Ladybug faced me, a confident expression replacing the guilty one she'd sported when I first caught her. She stood in her power stance, one hand whirling the yo-yo, the other on her hip. "You owe me a reason."

 

I sighed. "For what?" It was best to play dumb.

 

"For why you broke up with my friend Marinette!" I looked at her, carefully controlling my emotions. Ladybug didn't know that I knew she was Marinette and it had to stay that way.

 

"I wasn't aware that you were good friends with her," I retorted.

 

"That's none of your business! When she called me, she was in tears!" Ladybug was furious.

 

"What happened between me and her is none of _your_ business." I turned around. "Leave me alone."

 

"No!" For a moment, Ladybug seemed to struggle regaining control of herself. "You broke her heart! Why did you leave her?"

 

I gritted my teeth, feeling my blood pressure spike. "I told you-it has nothing to do with you."

 

"Well, she made it my business. So tell me."

 

"It's personal! You know we haven't been close in a while, and you never wanted to know about my private life. Why start now?" She opened her mouth to reply.

 

"I know, I know, she's your friend, but what happened between her and me _stays_ between us. You can get the full details from her if you asked. "

 

Ladybug's stance faltered. I pushed, sensing a quick victory."Have you even asked her?" I smirked, seeing the stricken look on her face. "No, I'm guessing. What, did she call you and you came leaping after me to seek revenge on your friend's honor?"

 

"You're going too far, Ladybug," I cautioned. "Leave me alone." As I extended my baton, a yo-yo snapped out in front of me, blocking my way.

 

"Don't you dare leave," she said, each word clipped and short. "We're not done yet." Her blue eyes snapped sparks, daring me to contradict her.

 

 _Didn't she ever give up?_ I thought angrily. "You're right," I growled. "We aren't done." My face set itself into a mask of anger as I swung my baton, sweeping her legs out under her. She fell backwards, hitting her bottom hard on the tiled rooftop.

 

"You-" I grunted, "are going to leave me alone." Quickly, I extended my baton, trying to put as much distance between us as possible.

 

"Not likely!" Ladybug had recovered and was standing on her feet, yo-yo swinging my way. I dodged,  hearing the yo-yo _click clack_ off of the chimney behind me. The yo-yo zipped back into her hand. I dashed away faster, scenery of Paris blended into a blur of green and brown.

 

I wasn't fast enough. Ladybug's yo-yo whipped around my ankle, catching me by surprise. She yanked on the string, dragging me back to her. My claws left deep gouges in the rooftop tiles,  and my leather suit smoked from the friction. When I turned my head around, I stared up into the blue eyes of one furious cocinelle.

 

"She told me that you left her because you didn't like her anymore!" She raged, stomping her foot. "I saw you two together! I heard what you said to her all those secret nights, and it didn't seem fake at all!"

 

I lifted an eyebrow, amused at what she just admitted. "Secret, huh? Did your friend actually tell you about us, or were you actually sneaking around and eavesdropping?"

 

"Uh...um...." Ladybug stuttered, at a loss for words. "It doesn't matter right now!"

 

"That's where you're wrong," I replied. "It means the world to me."

* * *

  _What was happening?_ Ladybug hadn't seen Chat like this since before he started dating her as Marinette. He was rarely, if ever, so invested in a discussion with Ladybug. _It was almost as if Chat didn't care about their relationship as Chat and Marinette, and decided to have some fun with Ladybug on the side. No,_ she chided herself. _He_ did _care. It was what Volpina said to him that made him leave._

 

"Tell me, Chat," she countered. "What did Volpina tell you during the fight that happened two days ago?" Ladybug curled her hand around her yo-yo, ready to deflect an attack from Chat.

 

She wasn't disappointed. A flicker of guilt and pain flashed in Chat's eyes and disappeared just as quickly. He raised his staff and charged, aiming to knock Ladybug off of the five-story building.

 

Ladybug jumped, twirling through the air. She landed behind him, wrapping her weapon's string around his waist, when all of a sudden Chat leaped. He took her by surprise, and she stumbled on the rooftop, scraping her knees.

 

He pulled Ladybug with him, swinging wildly from building to building, tangling the yo-yo string with lamp posts and window sills. The string grew tighter and tighter, tension building in the material. Eventually, after several city blocks resembled an overly large spider's web, Chat tugged the yo-yo off him. He tied the string to a gargoyle's neck, leaving Ladybug dangling from the string.

 

He glared at her, anger flaming behind him. The metaphorical fire roared in her ears. "Don't you dare ask that question," he hissed, sounding very much like a half-drowned cat. "You don't know what I do for you."

 

"Yeah?" She demanded as best as she could while dangling from a gargoyle like an oversized earring. "What do you do for me? You've been nothing but absent for months!"

 

She could tell that her accusation him hard. "What do you mean?"

 

"You've been so emotionally gone! Disappeared! Ever since I told you-" she broke off. Judging by the look on his face, Chat knew what she was talking about the night she rejected his romantic advances.

 

She gestured with her hands, her exasperation at Chat expressing itself. "You know, _that_ , you haven't been yourself. God, how long does it take to get over a person?" Whoops. She hadn't meant to cross that line. The last bit had just slipped out.

 

If anything, Chat looked frostier. "Excuse me," he ground out. "Are you _saying_ that just because I had to step back from the relationship _for myself_ you accuse me of not being there for you?"

 

"I-I-didn't mean that," Ladybug backpedaled. "Really, just forget-"

 

"Forget about it?" Chat seemed more incensed than ever. Ladybug mentally hit herself on the head. It seemed that she had only made matters worse.

 

"Oh, no, Ladybug, I don't think I will," he sneered. "In fact, you might as well tell me what you meant."

 

She didn't think that was a good idea, but she didn't want to anger him any further. "It's just that-you haven't really been there. I mean, you were there _physically,_ but you weren't the same. No puns, no silly cat jokes, nothing that was truly you _._ I tried giving you space to heal, really I did. I-I-guess I just wanted my friend, but you weren't coming back," she pleaded.

 

"The world doesn't revolve around you and your needs, Ladybug." Chat didn't seem moved by her confession. "I have my own needs too, if you don't remember, including my need for privacy. Which brings us back to the start." He pointed at her. "Why were you following me in the first place?"

 

Ladybug scoffed. "Of all the things you want to ask me, that's what you want to know?" She crossed her arms as best as she could, the string not allowing her much wiggle room. "I told you! You broke my friend's heart, and I want to know why!"

 

"Was it so urgent that you had to follow me right after I broke up with her?"

 

Ladybug was furious. Why couldn't he just answer the question? _Oh, right, the last time she asked he went straight for the kill, trying to knock her off the building_ , she thought sarcastically. "For the last time, yes! Just answer the question already. You really hurt her feelings, you know."

 

"What happened between us stays between us," he countered. "Don't go around sticking your nose into other people's business."

 

"Well, she made it my business," Ladybug snapped back. _Back to square one again. Didn't I just say that the first time we hashed this out?_

 

Fighting and confronting obviously wasn't working. "Spots off, Tikki," she murmured. Maybe having Chat see her as Marinette would make him see reason. She felt the magic swoop over her, the coolness a comfort in light of current events. She felt that she could now make progress with Chat-and she was falling?

 

 _I'm falling,_ she belatedly realized, _because when I de-transformed the yo-yo disappeared so that means there's nothing holding me up which means I'm FALLING!_ She could see the stars above her twinkling in the sky, mocking her as if saying that she would never know why Chat left her. Regret flowed through her veins, the words forming on the tip of her tongue.

 

Time seemed to move slower, freezing and pausing each frame of moment. Marinette had never appreciated physics more when she studied how Chat leaped off the building, the forces of push and pull combining to send him towards her. His arms were outstretched, fingers curling into claws. The ground drew closer and closer.

 

She could see Chat's mouth voicing her name _Marinette_ , each syllable in a drawn-out pattern. There was no surprise in his eyes, only concern and a certain sense of inevitability. Which only meant that Chat _knew_ she was Marinette, and that he knew her well enough to anticipate her trying to attempt this stunt.

 

She couldn't believe that he fell for her _twice._ Once as Ladybug, the other as Marinette. He never really did get over her, did he? He wasn't even close.

 

The irony was killing her. What were the odds that Chat would seek comfort with the very person that rejected him? She wanted to scream and laugh simultaneously.

 

 _WHUMP._ Marinette landed in his arms, and time rushed back in a wave of sound. Chat was panting furiously, his breath coming out in gasps. His costume felt warm, and she wanted nothing more to cuddle with him.

 

She took a closer look at him as he set her onto the ground. "Are you surprised that I'm Ladybug?"

 

"No." The word was crisp and cool. He turned his head away from her.

 

"Why did you leave me?" The question slipped out of its own accord. She dodged in front of Chat, effectively stopping his forward progress. "Don't tell me it's none of my business because it is."

 

"I won't." His jaw clenched.

 

"Is it something Volpina told you? You know akumas are controlled by Hawkmoth. What she says isn't real. It's just what Hawkmoth wants you to believe," she argued, jabbing a finger into his chest.

 

He laughed bitterly. "You know nothing."

 

"I know something," she insisted. "I know that you still have feelings for me, even if you claimed not to. After all, you did save me from my death. I know you."

 

Chat looked at her with flinty eyes. "If you know me as well as you think you do, you would have known that I would never let someone get hurt, no matter how I feel about them."

 

You're so hypocritical, Chat." Marinette shook her head. "You say you don't hurt others but you hurt me."

 

"To keep you safe." The phrase was but a whisper in the wind, floating out of her reach.

 

"What did you say?" Marinette searched Chat's eyes, finding nothing but a carefully guarded expression. "I heard something."

 

"It's nothing." Chat brushed her aside. "I'm going home." He took off at a run, too fast for Marinette to follow.

 

But not for Ladybug.

 

When she turned the corner in all her black and red glory, all she saw was Adrien Agreste standing in the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like one of those cliffhanger people. Personally, I dislike cliffhangers, but for some reason I'm addicted to writing them. Why.


	6. Cosmos' Joke

Adrien is Chat.

 

Chat is Adrien. 

 

How did she not see it coming? She figured that the universe would like to screw with her this way. He rejected her for her. She liked him, but it wasn't really him. And they met in the middle on her balcony during stolen nights to fulfill their fantasies.

 

She tried so hard to find a discrepancy with her reasoning, tried to disprove her own theory. So what if Adrien often arrived late to class, under-eye circles coinciding with late-night akuma attacks few civilians knew about? It didn't matter if Adrien was so interested in what she thought of Chat Noir, and that Chat Noir occasionally asked her what she thought of Adrien. 

 

It didn't matter that Adrien and Chat Noir were so physically similar that they could've been twins, that they both fenced, played piano, and spoke Chinese. 

 

And it most certainly didn't matter that she fell for him...twice.

 

Anger clouded her vision, the snow bleeding into red. She blinked, clearing her vision. He never did told her why he left her, and she wanted to know why. He wasn't surprised when he saw her as Marinette-he said as much. How and when did he manage to learn her identity? She wouldn't be surprised if it had been a while now.

 

"Chat!" Ladybug skidded in front of Adrien, too angry to care that she could be wrong. This was where she had last seen Chat, and Chat couldn't have gone far. Knowing him, he would have de-transformed to throw her off his trail. "Chat, what did Volpina tell you?"

 

Adrien looked up. "Ladybug? What are you doing here? There's an akuma, isn't there?" He sounded frightened, his voice shivering on the cold wind. 

 

"Stop playing dumb, Chat!" Ladybug resisted the urge to hit Adrien upside the head. 

 

"I'm not Chat," he replied. "You keep calling me Chat, though. Did the two of you get into a fight?"

 

"As a matter of fact, yes, we did! And you were there!" She stomped her foot, exasperated. 

 

"I'm not Chat," he repeated. "Ladybug, are you sure you're alright?" 

 

Two can play at that game, she thought. If he won't admit he's Chat, I'll trick him into admitting it. 

 

Ladybug looked at him again. His eyes were still guarded and downcast. "Sorry, I must be confusing you. So, where do you live? You should be getting home." She would act normally-apologizing as if Adrien wasn't Chat. 

 

"It's fine, Ladybug." Adrien removed himself from Ladybug's hold. "You're probably busy fighting an akuma, and I don't want to distract you." He turned away from her, in a move so reminiscent of Chat's rejection it took her breath away. 

 

"It's not safe this late. Let me take you home," she insisted. Pestering Chat always shortened his temper, and an angry Chat was a Chat prone to making mistakes. 

 

"It's none of your business," Adrien snapped suddenly. His shoulders hunched and he ducked his head down. "I'm sorry-I-I guess I'm a little out of it today." His tone was remorseful. 

 

Good, she thought. He was getting irritated. 

 

"It's fine," she waved it off. "Everyone has their bad days. But this one seems especially bad for you. Do you mind telling me how you got here?" 

 

"Ladybug." Adrien's voice was exasperated. "I told you, I'll be fine. I'm tougher than I look."

 

"You may claim that you're tough, but I still don't feel good about leaving you in the cold. Why don't I bring you home?"

 

Adrien fixed his face into a tight, forced smile. "Of course. I live in the mansion on the corner."

 

"Perfect," Ladybug purred. She wrapped her hands around his waist, as if they were dating each other again. Her hand came to a rest on his hip, and she tugged him close to her until their sides were flush with each other. She gave him a dazzling smile, winking at his obvious displeasure.

 

"Hold on tight, now," she grinned lasciviously. "I don't want you to fall off."

 

Adrien wiggled. "Can you loosen your grip a bit, Ladybug? It's a bit tight."

 

Ladybug looked at him. "Of course," she apologized. She then proceeded to hold him even closer. She snickered at his discomfort. 

 

"So, Adrien," she began, swinging across the rooftops, taking the long way back to his house. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

 

That must have been the worst pick-up lines in the history of pick-up lines, I thought disgustedly. What the hell was Ladybug doing?

 

"Yes," I lied. "I do." So shove off, I thought.

 

"Mmm," Ladybug hummed. "Too bad for me, eh? I'll bet that you're the cat's meow."

 

What the-? I had to close my mouth to stop the stream of swear words leaving my mouth. The Ladybug I knew would never make a cat pun, much less flirt. What did she want? 

 

"I could be your girlfriend," she suggested. "You'll just have to keep it a secret, hmm?"

 

I looked at her carefully. Was she suggesting that I cheat on Marinette...with Marinette as Ladybug? Her blue eyes were full of lust, and the slightest veneer of lies. So she still thinks I'm Chat, I realized. She was trying to trick me into admitting it, whether by making me lose my temper, or being so exasperated with her to make her stop. Two can play at that game, Ladybug. 

 

"Sounds purrfect to me," I whispered. "In fact, why don't we start now?"

 

I hugged her closer, my mouth latching on to the skin of her neck. Flicking out my tongue to taste her flesh, the flavors of sugar and spice bloomed on my tongue. A trail of fire was left on her throat as I made my way, nipping and sucking, to her cheek.

 

She gasped, the yo-yo string slacking for a moment, before tightening again. Clearly, of all the responses she had been expecting, it hadn't been this. Ladybug set us onto the roof of the Agreste mansion before she lost all concentration and dropped us onto the ground. 

 

"What are you do-" I cut her off, much preferring her moans to her incessant questions. I kissed her lips softly, hoping that she would take a hint and enjoy the moment. In response, Ladybug clutched me closer. She fitted herself into my body, molding her curves into mine. Tilting her head, she slanted her lips over mine, stroking and caressing, tongue probing in curiosity. 

 

A burst of spice filled my mouth as I felt her anger. Burning, roasting, her fury flowed into me, and soon the kiss became something much more heated. Our tongues twined, muscles fighting for dominance. When I refused to cede, she playfully nipped my tongue, and I switched to tasting her neck instead. She made a small sound of protest and she nipped my ear instead when I refused to budge. 

 

I looked up at her in surprise. "What?" she responded. "You weren't kissing me."

 

I stared at her in response. "So that justifies nipping at my ear?"

 

She chuckled, a light, flirty sound that I only heard when I was charming her as Chat Noir. "Yes? No? Maybe?" Ladybug sighed, leaning her head into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her back, reveling in the comfort.

 

"So, Adrien, what do you do?" I was jerked out of my reverie. There was a glimmer in her eyes that suggested that she still thought I was Chat Noir. I had hoped kissing her would make her forget, but that had been in vain.

 

"Student," I replied. 

 

"So why are you out so late?" A seemingly innocuous question.

 

"I had a fight with a friend," I answered honestly. "I had to do something that was for their good but they wouldn't listen to me." Perhaps Ladybug would be more open to my reasoning when I was Adrien. 

 

A look of concentration marred her features. "So you didn't discuss it with them first?"

 

"Why would I?" I laughed harshly. "I left because if I did explain it to them, they'd never accept the solution."

 

"Maybe it's because your solution is wrong."

 

I shook my head. "I've done the calculations, thought through the possible scenarios. There's no other way."

 

"There almost always is," she responded. She shrugged her shoulders, adding, "Though it's not my place to say." 

 

"Do you want to do something?" She asked suddenly. 

 

I nodded, grateful for the change in topic. "Can you show me some of your yo-yo attacks? I've always been interested in them."

 

"Sure." She smirked. Suddenly, a yo-yo came whipping towards me.

 

"Claws out, Plagg!" I shouted instinctively, the burst of energy from the transformation refreshing me. I dodged under the yo-yo, simultaneously sweeping my staff in front of me. 

 

When I met Ladybug's eyes, I saw the glimmer of a smirk. She had tricked me into revealing my alter ego. I never guessed she would be so slippery. 

 

Ladybug could see his anger. Quickly, she grabbed his shoulders, cornering him in place. She would finally get her answers. "What did Volpina tell you?"

 

"She told me things that I already knew," he hissed. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

 

"No," Ladybug retorted. "That doesn't tell me anything at all. What did she actually tell you?"

 

Adrien-no, Chat, she corrected herself-wrenched himself from her grip. "Think, Marinette! What happens during akuma battles each and every time?" 

 

"What do you mean?" she yelled back at him. "We win! We defeat the akuma every time, I use Lucky Charm and you use Cataclysm, and I purify the akuma. That's what happens, it's what's going to happen each time!"

 

"Think further, deeper!" he demanded. "What actually happens?"

 

"We put ourselves into risky and dangerous situations!" She snapped back, not knowing where he was going. "I get hurt and you get hurt but my Miraculous Cure makes everything alright again!" 

 

"No, it doesn't!" She'd never seen Chat so close to tears. "What happens if you get hurt and you can't use your cure? What happens then?" 

 

"That will never happen!" Ladybug looked at him furiously, trying to deny the traitorous whispering in her head that agreed with him. "Hawkmoth'll have to catch me off guard to even have a chance."

 

"And how do you think he's going to have to catch you off guard?" Chat suggested, twirling his baton. "Do you know how you're controlled by akuma victims?"

 

"No." She shook her head. "What are you getting at?"

 

"It's what happens when you can't get out of the way fast enough, when you're such a liability that your partner has to constantly sacrifice themselves to make sure that you're alright." He sobbed, clutching his stomach and bending into the snow.

 

"Chat Noir!" Ladybug gasped. "Snap out of it!"

 

"Life isn't a fairytale, Marinette, no matter what you'd like to believe. And you better trust me when I say that I'm a liability." Chat looked up again, his eyes torn in fury and sadness. "You'll be better off without me."

 

"You're not a liability!" Ladybug angrily denied. "You're my partner, my equal!"

 

"Am I really?" He questioned. "You know as well as I do that I'm a distraction for the akumas so you can figure out how to defeat them. I don't mind, seeing as that's my job, but seeing you in danger every day? Do you know how much that hurts me?"

 

"Clearly, it doesn't hurt you enough!" Damn. In an effort to hurt him as much as he had just hurt her, she stuck her foot in her mouth again, a side effect of the anger clouding her brain. "I mean, if you just thought about it, I need you there!"

 

"No, you don't," Chat countered. "I'm just a buffer, extra padding against akumas. I make your job easier, but that doesn't mean you need me."

 

"That's not the point!" she pleaded. "I like having you there! You do just as much as I do!"

 

"I also place you in danger," he noted. "By neutralizing myself early on, I can't help you. Instead, I work against you. Can't you see that by taking me out of the equation, you gain more than you lose?"

 

"No! Paris is safer because of our efforts." She stressed the word, trying to convey how important she thought they were as a team. 

 

"I usually get controlled by akuma victims during those efforts. Do you know what that does to me?" He tilted his head.

 

"No, what?" Ladybug had no idea what he was getting at.

 

"I succumb more easily to Hawmoth's power," he said softly. "His butterflies call to me, Ladybug. They offer promises of sweet, sweet, power. It's becoming harder and harder to fight his influence." 

 

He saw her jaw drop. "It's true. Sometimes, I just want to give in to the feeling of it all, to let myself go. It's very relaxing, you see. You hardly remember what you've done, but those memories are better left forgotten anyways. You see why I left you now? I'm so weak, he could akumatize me without much effort. "

 

Silence. And then-

 

"Chat! Adrien! I don't care what you prefer to call yourself right now-"

 

"Chat."

 

"Fine! Chat! This is not you, do you hear me? You don't give up, and you don't run away from your problems. There are times when problems are hard, but I'm there to help you shoulder the burden. That's what friends are for, and I'm your friend, damn it!" She panted, finishing her tirade. 

 

"And I'm not always going to be in control of myself, Ladybug! I've thought for a solution and if I had one we wouldn't be standing here, would we?"

 

"Actually-"

 

"That was a rhetorical question!"

 

"I knew that was a rhetorical question!"

 

"Then why did you try to answer it?"

 

"Because-because I wanted to!"

 

They were at a standstill. Ladybug could feel her frustration leaking through her ears. It seemed that there had to be a different way to approach things. Seeing each other in costume obviously brought out the latent fighting attitudes, but seeing each other in civilian clothing wasn't going to work, either. 

 

She sighed. Maybe a little more patience this time around would work. "What I meant, chaton, was that I transform quickly so it's hard to injure me, even when I'm in civilian form. Even if you're akumatized, I'm willing to bet that you can and will go against Hawkmoth. That'll give me enough time to transform and cleanse the akuma from your system. It's still possible to fight Hawkmoth's plans."

 

Ladybug had a point, but there was a problem. "We're partners, we usually need to work together to take care of the akumatized victims. How are you supposed to succeed if you're working against me? We'd be evenly pitched against each other."

 

"You forget that desperation and a clever mind has saved me more than a few times against you when you were akumatized," she countered. 

 

He shook his head. "You don't understand. When I was controlled by akumatized victims, I was a puppet. I did what they wanted to because I had no control over my own mind. When I'm an akuma victim, you'll find that I won't be so easily beaten. I know how you fight, Ladybug, and Hawkmoth will command me to put every ounce of that knowledge to use to defeat you."

 

"I'll just use Lucky Charm as many times as I need to, Chat. I've asked Tikki before; she won't mind. Maybe Master Fu will have a solution."

 

"You think?"

 

Did she detect a hint of sarcasm there? "Yes, I think."

 

"There's nothing we can do to protect against being akumatized. You can run away from the akuma, you can capture it, you can even try to stop carrying around objects important to you. But, akumas can possess just about anything and that includes your body. Just think what would happen if the akuma possessed your heart. Unless you cleanse it or Hawkmoth willingly releases the akuma from his spell, there's no way to avoid it. The akuma will attempt to possess its victim as long as its victim is alive."

 

"And where did you learn this?" She asked skeptically. 

 

"Remember that book you stole from me?" He lifted an eyebrow. Ladybug had the good grace to look ashamed. "Yeah, that one. I also read that the butterfly Miraculous also grants the user with a physic connection to his victims. It's not strong enough to control the victims, but the user can definitely see and hear through the victim."

 

"You mean those purple masks that appear in front of each akuma victim."

 

"Yes. I can be controlled and harm you. Do you understand now? Why I left?”

 

“No,” she snapped. “I’m clearly capable of protecting myself, and even if you do attack me when you're akumatized, I have faith that I’ll win. We both know that I'm better than you, Chat. You don't need to protect me."

 

"I can see where you're coming from," she continued. "But it's not necessary. Trust me when I say that we're equals, Chat Noir. We have each other's backs, and I won't let you run  
away from me."

 

"Well said, My Lady," Chat said, running his fingers through his hair. "But I'm still leaving you anyways."

 

The mood was somber. Ladybug stared into Chat's eyes, finding nothing but regret. She sighed, resigning herself to accept his decision-for now. 

 

"You know I won't give up," Ladybug started. She never did finish her speech because of a sight she thought she'd never see-two black butterflies flapping their way straight for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as heads up, I may not be able to update for a week or two because it's testing season at school. *hides under blankets* Thoughts, anyone?


	7. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bac is short for the baccalauréat. It's a French uni exam, much like China's GaoKao, an exam you take once to get into uni. If you live in the US, think of it like the SAT and the SAT subjects rolled into one, with a dash of history and language.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ladybug leaped into action, twirling her yo-yo. She ran a finger over the smooth surface, retracting its shell and revealing the bright, purifying light that glowed within. She swung her weapon, capturing both akumas in one swoop. Seconds later, two bright butterflies flew into the night sky.

 

"That was rather anti-climatic," Chat commented, staring at the butterflies. He'd been so preoccupied with devising a battle plan that he'd nearly missed the purification.

 

"Told you," Ladybug sighed. "I can take care of myself."

 

"I know," he replied. "Guess I was wrong after all, huh?" He shook his head. "All that flawed logic for nothing."

 

"A noble purpose, perhaps," Ladybug commented. "But talking it out next time would save the heartbreak."

 

Chat was silent for  a while.

 

"Forgive me?"

 

"Always." She held out her hand, expecting the usual fist bump, which usually occurred after akuma battles or apologies. Instead, he ran into her arms, squeezing her in a hug so tight she couldn't breathe.

 

"Thank you," he whispered. "For coming after me and trying to change my mind."

 

Ladybug leaned into him. His warmth wrapped around her, pulling her his body. She could smell the crisp snow on his shoulder, his usual cologne wafting in the air. She rested her head onto his shoulder.

 

"Don't ever make me do that again," she threatened. "Chasing you, running after you, all to make sure you won't leave me because you didn't think things through."

 

"I won't," he promised. "Never again." She could tell he meant it.

 

"Good," She replied. "Because I don't feel like running through snowy streets at 3 in the morning ever again."

 

He shifted. "It's 3?"

 

"Probably 4. We did spend some time arguing."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"I know you are. And I'm sorry for not going after you sooner."

 

They stayed like that for a while, comfort in each other's warmth. But when Chat's miraculous beeped, they broke apart.

 

"I've got to go." He lifted his hand. The paw pads were disappearing quickly. "Plagg needs a break, and so do I. See you at school?"

 

She lifted her lips into a smile. "School."

 

She leaped her way back into her room, releasing her transformation as she fell onto her bed, falling asleep before her head hit the covers.

* * *

 

They met at school the next day. Awkward glances led to bursts of laughter, both of them talking to each other in sync as Adrien and Marinette. Alya's jaw hit the floor.

 

Tikki and Plagg prompted them to visit Master Fu, saying that the akumas had come to them for a reason. Ladybug and Chat Noir had agreed. Master Fu explained that akumas only came in pairs when soulmates were conflicting. He further elaborated, saying that soulmates were souls made for each other, complementing one another without losing their individual personalities.  Marinette had fainted.

 

The first time Adrien kissed Marinette in their civilian forms, they were standing in the park. It was their first year of   _lycée,_ and they had decided to start things with a clean slate. The leaves were gradually turning into hues of orange and yellow, but the feeling of summer was still in the air. Manon had cheered.

 

The first time Chat Noir took a fatal hit for Ladybug, it was just after the _bac_. An enraged classmate who didn't do well on the test had transformed into Failuret, slinging deadly weapons of books and stationary at innocent passerby. Chat had leaped in front of Ladybug, a sword embedded through his chest, the tip scratching Ladybug's suit. Ladybug had rushed Chat to Master Fu, crying and begging him to be saved. He was 18, she had pleaded, ready to graduate in a few weeks. He was too young. His life was ahead of him.

 

The first time Chat Noir awoke from the fatal hit, he didn't see Ladybug. He didn't see anyone at all.

 

The first time Ladybug saw Chat Noir after the fatal hit, she saw his eyes, once so green and vibrant, cloudy and unfocused. She sat down and wept, explaining that he might never get his sight back. The soul transfer, a piece of her own soul she gave to Chat to keep him alive, came with a certain price that no one could predict.

 

The first time Chat could make out Ladybug's face, two years had passed since that fatal day. He could make out a fuzzy outline, black hair and blue eyes filling his vision. Plagg would deny crying during that moment, but where else could have the tears in his shirt pocket come from?

 

The first time akuma attacks didn't come, Chat Noir and Ladybug didn't know what to do. They sat around, waiting for an attack to occur. They were lost without Hawkmoth, and the revelation was jarring.

 

Adrien could say that was the day he started to live, creating a life for himself outside of being Chat Noir and the perfect son of Gabriel Agreste.

 

Firsts began to blend in with other occasions. The first speech at Nino's wedding. The first jeweler for an engagement ring. The first practice of many, many ill-fated proposal speeches.

 

Their first child. Their second. Their loves and their wants and their careers and their lives as heroes and their kwamis. Their children.

 

When Adrien heard the stuttering, weak breaths of his wife, he knew the time had come. Soulmates, Master Fu had once told them, lived _because_ of each other. When one was ready to pass on, the other would follow. Adrien didn't mind. He'd lived a long life, married to his wife of 80 years. He'd seen countries fall and rise, cities destroyed and rebuilt, lives born and set free.

 

He was ready.

 

It was the first of the last breaths he would take on this earth when he saw Plagg and Tikki hovering by their sides. Marinette's gray hair swept across her temples, and as he saw her whisper to Tikki, he lifted his eyes to Plagg. The black kwami had tears welling in his large green eyes, and he flew to nestle under Adrien's chin.

 

"How were we?" Adrien croaked, no longer strong enough to raise his voice.

 

"The best," Plagg whispered. "You were the best kitten I ever had."

 

Adrien had smiled and rasped, "And you were the best friend I had."

 

He turned to Marinette, the match for him in every way. They lifted their fists, ready to engage in the tradition that had become a hallmark through the years.

 

"It was a battle well fought, my love," he rasped.

 

"A life well lived," she agreed.

 

"Bien joué," they murmured together, bumping their hands in a pale imitation of their glory days.

 

They died, surrounded by family and friends.

 

It is said that during the first snowfall in Paris each year, a black cat and a ladybug kwami can be seen hovering over a two graves intertwined by vines. Golden mist forms into a couple looking suspiciously similar to Chat Noir and Ladybug in their prime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And cut! Thank you all for being with me on this trip through a story I thought I'd never write. I appreciate all of you, whether you just read it or you left a review.
> 
> I ended the story this way because it would've been dragged out if Chat was akumatized. Also, that would've meant a probable end to Marichat, and as a hardcore Marichat shipper, well, you can imagine my reaction.
> 
> If you do want an alternative ending, I have some notes for a chapter I never wrote. Just pm me, and I'll send them to you.
> 
> Thoughts, anyone?


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